For my job this summer I took a group of students across the world to China for some good ‘ol life change. Every week I wrote an update about what’s been going on, so I thought I would compile them all to let you read about my trip all at once. I am going to write a final update later today. It was super fun to write these and I look forward to writing more about my ministry in the future. If you didn’t get a chance to read them, just know that there’s not a lot of distinctly religious lingo in them on purpose.
Week 1
How nuts is that? It has been about four and a half years since I traveled overseas. There is so much I know that Dad has to restore in my life and my heart through this trip. Lately in life I have felt that everything has led up to this time- all the internal struggle, all my heart healing, all the glories revealed to me along the way. I get 6 weeks, discovering the maker of it all. I find that I am most alive discovering new things, places, and people. It’s fun to remember this part of me who loves to travel, try entirely new and different experiences, and laugh through it all.
Our team, made up of students from AZ, Montana, Ohio, Illinois, Michigan, and West Virginia is awesome. Some of them have those Midwest accents like my cousins and it makes me really happy. I have a feeling we are all going to get along really well and be able to handle conflict really well too. I have a family group of five students named Jenny, Brad, Kadrian, Danika, and Marcus. Lift them up if you think of it. I really want their lives to be changed and for them to see the world brand new with sacred eyes. Meeting and getting to know people is another really great life giving activity for me, my favorite one.
I had my first Chinese meal last night and I liked it so much! I have had similar items before, but I liked everything and cleaned my plate! I know some of you would be really happy to hear that, being that you miss the food here! We walked around on a scavenger hunt here in Beijing and I think there’s a lot of things being spoken to me about who the Chinese really are. One of the things is that they are just like us! In my Western mindset, I just have this naive thought that people across the world are different, but really, you can tell that the desire to be in relationship and loved is innate. I’m soaking it all in and constantly learning!
For the next few days we will be finishing orientation and then on Friday we head to the university we will be staying at for 4+ weeks. That’s a 22 hour train ride! Yikes! ADVENTURE!
I love you all and would encourage you to seek the things that bring you life and go do them and get to know the maker of it all!
WHO’S EXCITED?!
Week 2
After a few days in Beijing, we traveled about a day’s train ride to the university that we’re staying at for a month. I won’t divulge the city’s name, but I am blessed to be here. I’m spoiled by the gorgeousness that is this city and campus. Most Global Projects with our organization take place in much hotter cities. It’s like Flagstaff here in elevation so the weather is quite nice. Just imagine Flagstaff with a population of 2 million, a city vibe, and lots Asian ethnic diversity. Crazy, huh? I’ve noticed the people in this part of China are extremely nice. I have found that as a white person, this will be my biggest moment of celebrity in my life when people stare with mouths gaping at our team’s ethnic diversity and snap photos like paparazzi. They are eager and happy to engage in greetings or answer any questions we have, no matter the language barrier. It is, however the first time I have felt like an outsider, different, because of my skin color, and I think that’s a great experience for me to have as a majority person in my normal culture. However, I have found that my white privilege exists here, too. The Chinese admit to the ways Western culture has affected them and they look at us in awe, and see our white skin and light features as more beautiful. And while flattering, I have been asking the Father to help us be people who love and reveal the beauty of the Chinese to them while we are here.
Today was our first day in Chinese class. We will be learning all about the culture and the language of this huge, beautiful, and magnificent land. Our culture teacher today admitted to expecting us to be loud, silly, and a little bit (for lack of a better word) disrespectful. But he said that when he came in and we were attentive and ready to learn, he felt as though we were bright, shining like the sun. I had to stop myself from crying because it amazed me that the Presence of the Father could be so clear to him in us, a classroom full of children of the King. The other night in Beijing we met some nationals who are now also children of the King and shared their testimonies. One in particular, Sally, had a story that made me bawl my eyes out. A lot of their stories began in summer projects like these where they met Western friends, practiced English, built trust and slowly but surely pursued the Good News that they heard. The Father is doing crazy amazing things here, drawing people to him despite barriers. People are hungry and thirsty for love, friendship, and purpose, and sometimes they don’t even know it. A few of the students and I get the opportunity to sit in on a Monday English night class starting tonight taught by an American women. Most foreigners here come for jobs and for the same reason as our team, but they stay long term. I’m excited to see this teacher in action and experience how she engages her students in conversation and relationship.
Our team is getting along pretty well. We work hard during the day between meals and then try to relax and play together at night. At some moments I forget I’m in a different country because life here is still wonderful and fun and staffing these students is just as rewarding as on campus in the states. But then I go to the bathroom and remember that I can’t flush my toilet paper or I get thirsty and have to boil water in order to drink it, or I run out of clothes and have to hand wash them and hang them on a line to dry. It’s a much simpler life, but not too hard to adapt to. I love all the food, if you were wondering. Everything I’ve tried is at worst a little odd on my palate, but usually I eat til I’m full of noodles or rice and lots of pork. I had no clue pork was so huge here! I also didn’t know I like what we call Kung Pao chicken so much but it’s something like: gong pao jiding. I think. Haha.
Guys, I’m having some crazy thoughts that I’ve never had before. I’m a dreamer so this comes as a surprise to me. But as I was saying in my last post, this trip is bringing me alive. The father is using this trip to really refine my heart and change my life. I knew that and expected it, but somehow I’m still surprised at his goodness. I am realizing more and more that he has called me to all peoples and that cross cultural experiences are where I get to use the best of my relational skills and rely on him for compassion and love. One of the other leaders on this trip told me I can diffuse awkward situations really well, and that it’s a good skill to have in cross cultural settings. Conflict and dissonance is always bound to come up in a life of cross cultural service to people. What we get to learn though, is how we respond is what matters most. For example, I basically got locked in a public restroom a couple mornings ago and I panicked for about 2 minutes, near the point of tears, and I even told my Father that he could take me then and there, it would be a funny way to die, but after pressing all buttons and the switches I could, finally one unlocked the door and I was freed into the smoggy Beijing air. It was better than dying in a public Chinese restroom, amirite?
During orientation, we read Philippians and it rocked my world. I got to teach through chapter 2 and 3 and just felt strongly that our Father was using it to speak to us as a group and each of us individually. I long to give all my life in a way that considers everything else rubbish for the sake of the Kingdom. I long to see people discover true life and become a part of the family of our lasting Kingdom. I wanna be like Paul. The subject of my singleness comes up again and again in these amazing staff opportunities. I’m feeling called into really getting down to the nitty gritty and surrendering that part of my desires once and for all. I haven’t quite done it yet but I want freedom. I want to count that as rubbish so I can set my eyes heavenward and run toward the ultimate goal as Paul talks about in Philippians 3. I want to be married, but it’s not really an end goal of this life. It just would be nice to have a life partner. But still, I want to be freed of this nagging desire.
Keep petitioning in our behalf, on my behalf. You are all in my thoughts and meditations daily. I’m becoming new and I hope the same for you.
Week 3
China Update!
For some reason, last week felt like the longest week ever. It was our first week of classes, meeting students, and to top it all off, we went on a trip to a nearby lake where we performed song and dance for hundreds of people/local television. Oh. And I also rode a camel for the first time and was on local television!
Maybe I will take a moment to talk about something a little serious. So as a staff for this trip, I’m realizing that our team could be one of the biggest reasons we are all here across the world together- to learn from each other and grow. We have 9 white students, 3 Asian American students and 2 black students. For the white students maybe for the first time ever they are feeling their ethnicity. Generally in America people don’t do double takes on us because we are white. But here, in the eyes of the Chinese, we are even more beautiful than maybe we are considered in the States. Our white privilege even exists here. For my Asian American students, they don’t always feel fully loved and valued by the Chinese students right away because they fail to recognize them as Americans. It usually takes a bit longer for the students here to develop deeper relationships with Asian American students. As for my black students, they probably get the most attention and stares, and often feel uncomfortable with the paparazzi amount of pictures and attention they get. For all of us its definitely a different experience than we get in America, and we all have responded differently to it. But in the midst of this discomfort and learning, the reality is that we have to be there for each other as a team. I have the opportunity to love these students more actively in their identities here than I do back on campus. I’m learning to love better, listen more, and say yes to conversations I’m not even totally sure I can handle. It’s a really neat part of this job. I know plenty of you have had conversations with me about race and ethnicity, but I would encourage you to think about the people in your communities and how they might experience life because of the color of their skin. I guess I’m generally saying this to my white friends because I’m not so sure a lot of us think about this very often. Have a humble heart, listening ears, and don’t be self protective.
I am learning Chinese, how to be a better staff worker, how to be a better Daughter of the King (this week’s life lesson: desiring holiness), and loving this adventure. There have been days of total discomfort and annoyance, where I wish I were having an American summer drinking an iced coffee from Starbucks, but it’s okay, I can handle that. Plus, we only have 3.5 weeks left in China and I know I will be sad to leave.
Just keep me in your convos with the Father because sometimes it’s hard to not plan, think about, and dream for my move to Tucson.
Week 4
From my heart across the world to yours…
I cannot believe we have already begun our 4th week of the trip. I will be home in less than 3 weeks. It has felt like our team of 17 has been together much longer. Week 3 zipped by so much faster than the one before it. Our relationships with the Chinese students has been growing and we have made some great memories already- hosting an American dance party and having great and deep conversations over meals. We made national news last week because of our performance at the sand sculpture festival at a famous lake. Like I said before, now we are basically stars in China. The wide variety of experiences and people we’ve met have grown and stretched us a lot. We went to a Tibetan Buddhist monastery a few days ago and watched some of our friends literally bow down to idols. It was hard to see. But these people in China are so wonderful and they are deeply loved and valued, I know that for sure.
There’s this beautiful value of Chinese culture called guanxi (pronounced gwanshee) that basically means relationship building. So many decisions are made, customs are formed, and ideas are viewed through the lens of guanxi. It’s almost as if every person asks themselves, “am I building or breaking trust in this relationship or scenario?” Honestly, I think it’s really neat because it lends a lot of intentionality to relationships here. Sometimes, guanxi will lend to doing odd things too though, for example, today our team got a last minute invitation to a presentation and deal signing for a future industrial park project in the city we are visiting that we couldn’t turn down. The local government invited us to come sit in the conference room and observe quietly for an hour and then they provided us with a delicious dinner buffet. The only benefit of our being there was to the local government to show their good relationship with foreigners. For us, it builds guanxi between our program on campus and the local government, which is a good sign to continue this life changing program for years to come!
I think it would be really interesting if there was a widely held cultural value in America that ensured we would honor and love each other more intentionally and always be looking to build trust. Something that I’m realizing more about this world and the different people in it is that we all represent a beautiful part of our Father’s heart whether we belong to him or not. Why did no one ever tell me how much you learn on these crazy trips? A question I want to ask myself when interacting with others more often is: how does this person reflect the Maker?
I believe it could give me more compassion for people.
For the sake of being vulnerable, I will share something I’ve been learning about myself that’s new. I didn’t really realize this before, but I don’t think I totally trust people to love me well. I knew I didn’t receive love well, but I didn’t think I had a trust issue. Part of it has to do with the fact that I spend so much of my time investing in friends that I spread myself too thin. Another part is that I have had enough relationships where I felt like my love and devotion was not reciprocated so I started to believe that I might not be worth loving well. And lastly, I struggle believing that the Father’s love is enough for me. There are ways I have blamed Him for the lack of mutual love in my life. I started on this journey of self-knowledge a couple years ago and I’m still figuring out how to receive love well. On this trip, I have found myself holding back or not trusting that I’m safe with these new brothers and sisters. I love making new friends but it’s also scary too when they make it all too clear to me that they don’t understand me or my personality is too much for them. I have enough trouble accepting myself without having to watch and help others try and accept and understand me too. The truth of the matter though, is that I am loved and valued by these people and only in a little over three weeks’ time! I know they cherish me. There has to be room for them to fail me or hurt me or poke at my insecurities because they don’t know the depths of my heart…yet. Haha. 🙂
Please keep me in your conversations to the Father. I feel like every major heart issue in my life is coming up on this trip. Sometimes I feel like a storm inside and other times I’m glad I’m on the other side of the world processing these things instead having an Arizona summer. Sometimes we need new and different contexts to take a really clear look at our lives. I’m excited for the rest of this summer and starting my life in Tucson come August. I’ve been trying to mentally, emotionally, and spiritually prepare for the transition. I just need all the support I can get. If you have any resources, furniture, special skills or knowledge or even just good ol’ love, feel free to contact me after July 5th.
Week 5
I’m gonna miss the food, but I miss you all more!
I’m sitting in a cafe in China. Out the window, skyscrapers tower near and far and a steady fog rolls in and out in this mountainous city. I walked here in the rain, came to escape and read and write, prepare for debrief in Beijing next week. But to be honest, I borrowed my coworker’s phone and Facebook stalked all of you.
My heart is full. I miss you all a lot. I’m glad I didn’t get on Facebook until now because I would have missed you more. Like I said before I left, I am coming back a changed woman. I have re-met little kid Bridget, who I am super fond of. She has big faith and is unafraid to try new things. For the last few years, I have been so out of touch with my truest self. Do you ever feel like that? Like you lost who you were in the midst of busyness/pain/a shift in priorities? As I’ve been learning and growing and sifting through all of my heart and identity issues, I feel like this trip to China came at the perfect time. I have always found that getting out of my normal context and culture changes me and brings me way closer to the Maker. I have experienced a lot of freedom from my shame and pain in the last year. My supervisor declared it my year of joy this year and that it has been! It has truly felt like two years in one with how much the Father has done in my life internally and externally. But this trip to China is the cherry on top. I am happy to be going home in less than 2 weeks, but I have experienced a burning in my chest like I haven’t in quite some time.
We have met some really amazing sisters and brothers here who have sacrificed a lot to be on this path. I have met some heroes in their own right, heroes in my heart for sure. I can’t wait to share more details of all the crazy cool things happening here! My excitement and satisfaction in what I do as a career has been renewed and refreshed. Working with college students on campuses is so worth it. We really are world changers. I’m convinced.
I’ve had some great conversations with the students I’ve met and chances to be forthright about the Greatest News. I’m learning that this truth I believe really is like a treasure in a field that is worth losing the rest of my life for. I know it in a more real way now than I did before.
Lift up my team in the next week and a half as we wrap up our time with the people here, travel to Beijing for debrief, and then travel home. I like to the think that the Father can teach and grow us with even the smallest amount of time, so I’m expecting a lot.
Can anyone believe it’s almost July? That’s nuts.
I love you all and can’t wait to come home and come see your faces and hug you ‘til it’s annoying. Thank you for all of your support.
Week 6
What it’s like to be an entitled brat in China
Tonight, I got a manicure in Beijing. I thank my aunt Cathy for introducing me to manicures at the age of 14. My first time I picked a color that was opaquely pink, but not quite clear. I remember not wanting to grow up and how luxurious it seemed to get my nails done. Wasn’t it just for special occasions? But this occasion was simply that I was in town and my aunt had me to herself and that she’s a fine woman. My aunts really have spoiled the four of us Gee kids all these years.
Anyway, my coworkers and I have been talking for weeks about getting our nails done when we returned to Beijing. It’s a small comfort, a fun way to relax for a little while and be pampered. Afterward, we went to a brewery around the corner. It was a classic brick and wood warehouse style pub filled with foreigners and craft beer. It would have been more enjoyable for me if I liked beer, but to me it tastes like anything from pencil lead to a fistful of sand.
The reason I’m explaining this is because every week us staff escape for a couple hours to eat together, check in, and do something fun. For us, this trip is six weeks straight of nearly non stop work. And while it is really rewarding, we have to be “ON” way more often than back at campus. So it’s nice to get away and treat ourselves a little. As I sat in the brewery, I thought about all these laowai (foreigners) and what their lives here in Beijing must be like. I am considering what it would be like to live abroad for more than a year, and I think the foreigners in Beijing are adventurous and brave people. I wondered to myself that if I did this kind of work abroad more long term, what are the kinds of comforts I might want or need in the midst of being in a cross cultural setting?
Tonight, my comfort was getting a hot pink manicure, so I could feel like the princess that I am, to comfort the brat in me who complained about my messy bunk on the 20 hour train ride to Beijing. The fact is, one way or another, you’re going to be uncomfortable when you live abroad. And I’m a princess. I like my iced drinks, clean bathrooms with endless toilet paper, good customer service or else I wouldn’t be Rosemary Scott’s daughter, and the list of my entitlements goes on and on. We have a saying on these Global Projects, “it’s not bad or weird, it’s just different,” when it comes to experiencing culture shock. A major thing I’ve realized about our country (and my heart) is that we are all about convenience and comfort. But it seems to me that the rest of the world isn’t so vain. Which in turn, makes me want to care less about how many outfits I own, or if my hair looks good, or if the bathroom smells. It’s a bathroom, it should smell! What actually matters aren’t these material physical things, but relationships. So, in the midst of my discomfort of sleeping on a glorified box spring for six weeks or never being quite sure if my hand washed clothes are totally clean, I can choose to place importance on the relationships I’m building and the people that surround me. And in the mean time, I will continue to get my cold Cokes and manicures or what ever might be the equivalent comfort in the US so that I don’t go bananas (and I hate bananas). I am human after all. I wish I was a super hippie with not one uptight bone in my body, but I’m not. Bummer, huh?
But that’s the grace of our Father. Even with my shortcomings, he still allows me the freedom of comfort, love, learning, and growing. He still gives me opportunities to get away for a couple hours and sit with Him, getting my gel manicure while He shows me his glory and his goodness. And in those moments, I feel like I could go to the farthest reaches of the earth and still feel at home in the love of my Maker.
Isn’t that beautiful? I experienced that in England and Japan and even in Rome! No matter what context or life situation we are in, the Father loves us and wants us. I cling to that love with all of my heart. If I start to doubt it, any strength I had to love, understand, and adapt, vanishes.
I don’t think that I had to come across the world to learn these things about myself and being a believer, but I’m sure glad I did! It may have taken much longer otherwise!
If you have been longing to grow mightily in your faith and character, I strongly encourage you to place yourself in a new context or culture and learn with a humble hungry heart.
I will be home in less than a week and I’m so excited to return to our blessed country. A lot has happened since I left, and I have a lot to look forward to.
Continue to ask the Father for spiritual provision on our behalf. I want to suck the marrow out of this week and this entire experience we had this summer. We can change the world and I am beyond excited to be doing it from Tucson come August!
PS- I truly believe in the mercy of the Father because people hock nasty loogies all over the place in this country and I havent once gagged upon seeing them. MERCY AND GRACE.
Bridget Gee 
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