I’m writing from a Whole Foods in Boulder, CO. Did you know that 1) many Whole Foods have massage therapists who charge $1/min for a chair massage and 2) that I started my work in ministry with IV here? Not at Whole Foods. In Boulder. I worked part time with IV, and part time at MAD Greens, slinging salad. It was a very formative year for me and one of the best of my life. Today I was GOING to get a massage, but I couldn’t find the chair for the life of me. So I settled for a make your own stir fry, B vitamin juice shot and an Emergen-C. I’m afraid I’m lightly coming down with everything that everyone has.

It’s nice to be sitting here, with a gorgeous view of the Flatirons, which normally I just see etched on my left forearm. I love this town. It’s so weird and good and beautiful. But also sooooooo white. And not just from the recent snow. Like, looking up I don’t see anyone who is not white. Oh wait. There’s one lady. It’s wild to me that I lived here.

An old lady just gave me a drawing of the mandarin character for luck that she stenciled. She’s making her way through the café giving them out to other young women. It’s endearing. Do we become like children again when we are old? She has lost some teeth and she’s unafraid to approach strangers, and she wants us to have her drawings. But she has no screen in front of her. She’s just biding her time with stencils, strangers, and a book of crosswords.

I love that.

Something great about sabbatical is that I have more brain space. I have more time. I feel more creative and present and desiring of trying new things. I’ve been teaching myself piano again. I went bouldering last week and really liked it. I went on a date. (It was a bust, romantically speaking.) I’m writing more and reading more and reflecting more.

We need this.

We need rest and sabbath and space from the slog of work or the burdens that shouldn’t be burdening us. We were made for regular rest. We were made to play and sing and be creative- whatever that looks like! Yes, we were made to work and have purpose and contribute to our community, but that’s not really what this post is about.

It’s mainly about me, and how I’m changing. Becoming more me. Returning to God and therefore myself. For example, right now I don’t really care that I’m writing in mostly a stream of consciousness. It’s fun. I’m dying to the things and ways that I always function- people pleasing. I’m dying to the control I have. I’m dying to the self that needs her schedule full, the BG who has to be everyone’s hero. Who even asked? Ha!

My return to God and my self in Him is my repentance. It’s me coming back and saying, “Lord, you are the way, you are the fountain of living water, there is no life apart from you. Forgive me for the broken cisterns I’ve been building and drinking from.” Jesus is doing a work on me to shed light and expose the darkness in my life, to bring the real me to life in Him.

It’s awesome.

That’s all.