A freshman comes into college as exactly that- a fresh adult. They have the heavy task of figuring out what’s next while processing through the story of their childhood. What shaped them? What was beautiful? What was hard? Who are they now? Who do they want to be? My students bring their stories of childhoods just ended to me- both delightfully boring and frighteningly dark. I sit in the middle of these two stories, holding the beauty and the pain in tension, thinking of my own story, and trying to ask, “What’s next? How should we respond to our stories and God’s story colliding?”

As someone with a degree in fiction writing, it’s easy for me to look at life through the lens of story.  Lately in the midst of my own conflicts with fundraising and thinking about my own future, I’ve sensed God’s story colliding with the one I’ve been telling. I feel as though he’s asking me,

“What’s the story you’re going to tell, Bridget?”

Am I going to focus on what’s going wrong?

That I had no idea how this happened?

That I’m panicked and don’t know what to do?

That I just need help… or else?

That I feel confident in my call to ministry so people should take my word for it and just give to me?

Those aren’t compelling stories.

They are just the moments of conflict that make my story more interesting, more complex, contribute to my character development and keep us all on the edge of our seats. What will happen on next week’s episode of Lord of the Kings: A Bridget’s Tale? If the story I’m telling is just about my conflict, then it’s a boring story. It’s without hope. It’s without victory. It’s incomplete.

So as you can see, my entire life is about story. As I have been zooming out from the hard parts of my story, I’m once again recognizing that we all take part in the Real Story, whether we like it or not. The grand Story of God- his relentless pursuit to be in relationship with us, that we might know him and have him rule over us and save us.

A huge part of the reason I believe in God’s Story is because of my conflict, pain, and setbacks. I have found no other solution, resolution, or joy elsewhere. Every other answer has its limitations or thrusts me further into conflict. Only the story of Jesus saves. We’re all looking for heroes in the midst of our stories. I just know I can’t be my own. And no amount of money will actually be an answer to my heart’s deeper questions: Am I worth it? Am I having an impact?

The story of Jesus says, “Yes and Amen.”

On this Good Friday, I stand in the story of Jesus. The story of a God who was willing to walk the earth with us, love us like no one else had, feed us, teach us, touch us, heal us, only to be murdered by us. And he died for us because he doesn’t want our stories to be the ones that win our lives. His story invites us to rise from our conflict of sin and death and lies and doubt into a story of resurrection and freedom. He was willing to do the ultimate thing so that we don’t have to be people of conflict. Only with Jesus is our conflict just a part of the story. Apart from him, we die in our conflict and we stay there forever.

I love that in relationship with God I get to choose the better story. I get to say, “yeah, even though things are not going how I hoped, my God is still good!”

The story of God promises that these college freshmen have a future and hope where they are loved and can make an impact. I’ve seen it before my own eyes. I’ve watched Jesus heal deep wounds in the hearts of abused children. I’ve seen young adults step out of sin into God’s freedom for them. I’ve seen these people grow leaps and bounds when it seemed impossible. These new adults have the power to hear from God and step into their worth and authority to bring God’s story to others as well. That’s the story I am a part of! It’s a story of the miraculous and a story of victory. What a compelling story!

In this Easter season, it is a great mercy that once again God invites me deeper into being a woman who tells HIS story and not my own. His story is never ending. My conflict will pass away. My problems are temporary. But God’s story remains.

And to that I say, “Yes and Amen!”